FORDCP

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1. Dylan
i hate the shoes you wear in winter
when the snow falls down
i hate the way you look like a character from a play written by Harold Pinter
you’re just so loud
and without a point in any of your bones
you’re just so boring the way you stand alone
i get so angry when i see your name flash on my beeper
or where i wrote it on my trapper keeper
i hate the way i’m so in love you
i hate the way i’m killing time with you
i know that shoes don’t matter
in this city’s weather
because the salt eats through the patent leather
and when your feet give out
i’ll trade you mine because yours look better
but i won’t notice because my mind’s blown snow
my brain is bleeding out my nose

i left you in the dirt at Old Man’s Point
the top of Dog Hill where we kissed before we smoked a joint
i’d get so high you’d call my name and i would be surprised
excited by the trees’ leaves rustling as the plane flew by
and overhead the stars were twinkling
i thought he was tossed and older
i would fight but i’m too tired
they (you) were too bright

okay i’m giving up
i’m walking out you’ve said enough
i’m walking home at dusk alone because i hate your love
i hate your hands and feet the shoes you would wear underneath
your only coat for snow from back when we were kids in heat
when i would still get stoned way out there on that frozen lawn
timed it right because we were out there on that lonely road
driving out towards dusk out West where horses still combust
start to say to me that it’ll kill me quick enough
and all you say to me
is “slow down watch your speed”
but holidays won’t wait
to find exhilaration
when every house is stripped
and every atom’s gone
and all these cigarettes will only pause it so long
exhilarate
out by the fire
with a friend
i still admire
a frozen kiss
i fall asleep
still i let my lips rest a while on your sleeve

//

2. Chorus Eaten
i don’t really want to go see them
i don’t really think that i need them
i’m slipping outside to go meet them
i’m tracing my tongue chorus eaten

//

3. Soft Suspension
you said or maybe mentioned
my childish lost intentions
from some place behind the light
you hang in soft suspension
the way i see you bend to
look out of stained glass windows
like light comes from somewhere behind
and seeps straight into
the rest of the world we know
our small yard and our broken home
at Wells at Washington
at Cornell and a broken road
where we live it don’t exist
when we’re not living in it
see me i’m disappearing
turn clear and steer your healing

turn into a bird
and fly straight south
straight south
for food
for winter
just like you said you would
just fly
don’t hang from light
i don’t have any rings or things
no fakes or snakes
it’s safe
to land right here and wait
and sleep and pace and cut out early when you need
it’s warm
and boring
just like you feel up there
in the air
in the air
in the air

believe it when i tell you
nobody half as yellow
as me when you turn out the lights
i’m meek, i’m mellow
but when you see me calling
i really think i’m falling
away from my own little light
in feet, my pharaoh
be all the breath in my chest
be my heat and my heft
just don’t give up my little light

because the only thing
that keeps me here
is your smell
and your fear
i promise to
give up on you
when all your days are clear
so warm
and boring
and exposed like a prayer
in the air
in the air
in the air

//

4. Phones
(no words)

//

5. Walk Long
(no words)

//

6. Sky Boat
i don’t mind
talking about the weekend
when you called just to
search for time
searching for a secret
telling you a way to stop
i’m headed for the Great Obliteration
a place out West where horses die
i always stay dead and patient
so time won’t pass you by

pay no mind
i’ll landslide
i’ll be alright
grow up with me
pay no mind
we’re so high
i’ll be right
i’ll be right
pay no mind
my landslide

i don’t
see rose,
Picasso, or
Miro:
grey walls
fake pearls
take slow
hero
james hold onto my phone

pay no mind
i’ll be fine
i’ll be alright

pay no mind i’ll be fine

//

7. Other’s Guns
i don’t need no other’s guns
got it good with you alone
lock myself up with no sun
got it good with you alone

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

kids don’t believe it when you say you’re sorry
they only perceive it when you act harshly
never learned anything but to be guilty and wait
i’ll wait
i’ll wait

//

8. The Weekend (Canon)
(no words)

//

9. Thanksgiving
try to find the Parts and piece them all together
remember something small about the collar of your sweater
kissing on the floor used to taste better
kind of tastes a little like a million heartbreakers
staring at the stars from a blanket in the park
take time breathing in the dark
wrapped ourselves in a blanket from the car
looking at the stairs out of your former back window

when you used to smile at the sight of my eyes
hours in the car spent with nowhere to drive
our last trip between the buildings in the sky
could have fallen asleep to the simple, soft music
reluctant to love leaving hands upon your arms
skin upon skin in the soft glow from the yard
whispered everything i could imagine would be marred
by the imperfections of my human words and phrases
wrote those last words down upon the page
a heart holding past love that you never made
and a few simple truths that have always held you weighed
down to the wood floor my collapsed former comrade
leaving something other than the truth
so your cold hands are supposed to be the proof
of your love of commitment other than the loose
bounds placed on us by all the words been spoken

hey hey it’s cold outside
now’s the time i think about our lives
red hair, stilt legs
cold hands, but at least we’d get laid
black car: a point in the sky
out in the city at night
no kids just calls
when i’m alone and the phone is off

//

10. Clay
(no words)

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11. Trains
(no words)

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12. Fadin’
drunk and feverish
we’re naked and we’re kissing
like our young hearts are missing
up above broken streets
broken glass beneath our feet
just breathe it in
just like an artery spitting

sunken city steps
we’re climbing down
we’re heading
towards the inner city’s breast
and up above us is darkness
and every move is stark
so just shuffle your feet like cardinals
and we can
reach our beds
before Dawn
and move on
and awake with the sun
in our gums
and we’ll be just like mothers or fathers
and stutter when we see our youth
fading
fading
fading

fading
fading
fading

when i miss her i remember back to summer
warmest nights reaching out toward
her face
never shown so bright as it did in that country
like the truth that her voice embodies
purest of summers
but grown-ups like numbers
so we’ll call it
07

what you live
what you smile
celebrate me awhile
we are each other’s child
and our home is out so
far away we should go
and forsake our youth
fading
fading
fading

//

13. Mournin’
you’re morning you’re the Western Pennsylvania sun
exactly what i have done (exactly what have i done)
fucked it up like
fucked it up right
waking up right
sitting upright
the year before you traded in
your bones for ashes bottled up in an old tin
endless nights for something longer
wish i (wish you) could be a little stronger
where we shook our shadows
around the fire
you looked like you were getting tired
and Embers clung to our eyelids: the only place that you still exist

dream of
Aurora Borealis
northern lights
that you can’t miss
when you’re driving up the highway
lost you somewhere out there on the highway
never picked me up on your way home
left you out there in the gray cold
miss your laugh but i’ll just find another:
be a worse singer, be a better brother

waking up in dusty sheets
you never left
you never leave
the Basement Door
it keeps your name
your mother sends it when you are late

//

14. Boats
(no words)

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15. Train Shuffle
silence make words
chill and still birth
knowledge: just words
don’t care, still serve

violence still grows
after it grows cold
pilots can’t hold
this won’t unfold

after you
tied in two
but you don’t come along with clues

making words
painting the birds
with no ...

//

16. Bell Shuffle
(no words)

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17. Go On Home
i believe
i need
you go home

//

18. Tin Roof
(no words)

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19. Wait For Nothing
don’t give in wait for something
don’t give up i’m still stumbling
just wait a week and i will fall
don’t kiss just wait to stutter
the lake’s still frozen water
and words get stuck there when you’re young
and i’m still base and fucked up
words come out grunts and chopped up
i groan and sleep and shit and gnaw
i eat like quicksand sucking
i fuck like i’m not fucking
and i love like i never quit being young

keep me wondering
young and close
hide the things that i don’t know
teach me nothing
feed me notes
make me turn into a ghost
ooooo
ghost
ooooo
ghost
ooooo
ghost
ooooo

don’t look just stare right through me
pretend like my hands do reach
and grab onto something of yours
i think you’re somewhere near me
a term ago i buried
you on cement
since then i’ve been so bored (torn)

keep me wondering
young and close
hide the things that i don’t know
teach me nothing
feed me notes
make me turn into a ghost
ooooo
ghost
ooooo
ghost
ooooo
ghost
ooooo

stars in the ground
i’m alone in the sky
strung on pills
and strung out lines
and all that i can think about is dying
talking alone and speaking fine
stuttering coughing
stuttering buying
using all my humor for violence
pills hung out in cars out West
in my yard and in my nest
and all that i can think about is dying
pills up into starry swept
silence, coughing, stuttered, and slept
using up my humor for crying
strung out pills that fall from the sky
falling stopped fall in line
and all that i can think about is dying
talking alone and speaking fine
silence, silence, silence, sign
using all my humor for violence

//

20. Instruction
(no words)

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21. No Moves
(no words)

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22. Jokes 1
(no words)

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23. F Hill (Fag Hill)
oooooo
old cars
that we rode in the park
bare feet
on the seats
when the leaves turned dark
getting cold
in the room
where we fucked first
black walls
holding stars
that we made burst
ain’t nobody else knows
how to make me warm
got a cold heart dead
since i got myself born

got three
little things:
1) a thrift store sweater that you bought once
2) his ashes in a can and
3) three old songs

//

24. Jokes 2
(no words)

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25. White Lions
you might say there’s no reason
and give it up another season
and i’d give my mouth teething
and i’d say i’m only teasing
and i’d stare at the sun’s chest
just to burn out all my numbness
try to learn how to use my hands
try to split down the center and

let go of my guilt
if i ditch it just means that i didn’t show
you switched the way you learned how to look
because i catch these glimpses of a person from a book
you’re wasted and you’re not home
stay out a week maybe longer and we’ll know
if you keep coming home to me
i’ll keep you around to keep me company

and i’d say there’s no reason
to grow up towards the summer season
it’s too hot and i get so bored
of the beach and finding new words

we’re fake never find out
defined by the shit we’ve got in our house
left alone tense at a touch
home bones fragile and enough

white lions
we care so
so i can share some
with you
we’ll split it
i just need
to hit it
won’t go
just stay here
watch close
and pray dear
i’ll leave soon tonight
you’ll know
because i

i might say there’s no reason
and give it up another season
and i’d give my mouth teething
and i’d say i’m only teasing
i might say there’s no reason
and give it up another season
and i’d give my mouth teething
and i’d say i’m only teasing

//

26. Who?
(no words)

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27. White Lions Reprise
i might say there’s no reason
i might say i’m only teasing

//

28. a Dream
i knew somebody
who gave us some money
and we walked away from it all
i called you up and
took lots of medicine
i think we’re gonna do fine

i’ll be fine
i’ll be fine

//

29. Wild Thing
...
come back h-o-m-e
you can’t go where you want to
b-o-u-n-d up
say you want o-n-e

never meet
pretend i see
close it off
fake like i’m bleeding
won’t you spare a little affection
for me
at least for my bones
getting creaky and i’m all alone
i only need
some misdirection
no point
over the hill
old friends
caught in the till
and i hate
i hate
i hate
sun

you can’t stay where you want to
old friends and ties keep on us
cut like knives hold like nooses
i can’t say what i thought of
i’d die and cut myself up
fucked up
when i made nooses
won’t you share a little
so much here
hallelujah
wake up the way i used it
just share
just do it

i’m first
she quenched my thirst
my nerves
shot and bursting
i know
i know
i’m certain
alone
all by myself
feel stoned
feeling it melt
i keep feeling it worsen

i know you need someone
hold you baby while you get some sun
you need you need a person
want more when i need less
think you’re pretty but i’m not impressed
just need someone to care for

nothing about
nothing inside
see myself when it’s cold outside
breathing deep like crystal stones
secrets keep building up on loan
and when we speak ain’t nothing there
just some steam hanging in cold air
it knows to say
it knows to bend
to situations to start and end
but it don’t mean no it don’t know
what it burns and what it blows
no it just floats
it’s just fake
nothing but a learned instinct

and when we speak
ain’t nothing there
just some steam hanging in cold air
and when we speak
ain’t nothing there
just some steam hanging in cold air

//

FORDCP